不才修改一下你的个人表述,看看是否这样会更妥当一些
Recently coming to xiangshan and having few friends here (seldom 表述的是动作的多少,这里朋友的数量表述不该用seldom), i am a man with smile and some good characristics (正确的拼写是characteristics, good characteristics不妨用virtues更好些?) such as humor and patient(名词是patience), i want to know OR get to know (knows 不对吧) some new guys (news gays小函已指出,不多叙述) in shipu who are(此处表语不能缺失) also good in english and are sincere (用形容词表述正确, not sincerely) to his friends , i work (不是woks) in huaqiaotou road , 1-10#.
I love english songs and movies. if you want to know me , you can have my QICQnumber 232307357 and my email (not enail) rhett0328@163.com (私下认为这样的表述更好, you can contact me through my qq number... and /or email ...)
if you don't know english well ,(窃以为"如果你的英语不够好"应该如此表达, if you are not good at English,简单明了), that is ok (或者更简单些, no problem), i am willing to offer my hand. And being friends doesn't (not don't) mean (not means) strict criteria (not criterias,criteria 本来就是复数了单数是criterion).(不好意思不太明白你上面一句要表达的意思.如果你想说成为朋友不需要很多的条件,我认为这样表达更好- And becoming / being friends needn't too many requirements). Friends to me means bringing happiness and facing difficults together. (朋友对我来说意味着分享快乐,分担困难, 是这个意思吧.我的表述是 To me, friends can share the happiness and difficulties jointly/together.Or, To me, freinds are the people who can bring happiness and who are willing to face difficulties together with me可能更清楚一些?)
I work (not works) as (a) translator and foreign trade assistant
not umimageable but unimageable
[ 本帖最后由 stephen_sun88 于 2009-2-4 11:24 编辑 ] |
楼主
），一个喜欢微笑着请大家吃饭（你哭着我还不愿意接受你的邀请呢），并具有良好性格，幽默，耐心的人（兄弟，你的性格很适合请客吃饭）
）
谢谢翁泡！原来是请大家吃饭啊，搞得那么麻烦，直接吼一声不就行了！哈哈哈．．．